A Nonsensical Telling Of A Band .......written by Leslie Carol Boehms

The carrot and the stick: an object of desire - said carrot -dangling from your standard wooden stick. The "metaphor" was in reality a way for farmers to get the somewhat ignorant and lazy mules to plow the field. The mule saw the object of desire dangling just a few inches from his nose - close enough to incite want, far enough away that he couldn't reach his desired object.

Now that we've got that cleared up, I must elaborate on the exact nature of this article: local band Juan Prophet Organization. But you see, there's really not much one can actually write about this band ( I know, I know, you want an article - I'll get to it, I promise). But you see, these guys (and gal) are so eccentric so crazy, messed up in the head, that I just have a hard time beginning this piece. So, I know this is a little non-traditional, but let's face it, so is this band.

When you see the carrot, it really makes you crave the carrot. Even though you cannot reach it.

When I arrived at the practice space/living headquarters for the Juan Prophet Organization I was greeted by a cluster of anonymity - except for the ever elusive and oh so sultry Grayson White. Grayson is the only female in the group - she's also someone I've known off and on for a few years now. She sings, plays violin, keyboard, and other sundry sounds.

Kris White (is he the brother? is he the husband? it's like Murfreesboro's own version of the White Stripes - except they really are siblings) is well, a character to say the least. When I saw JPO at the Boro Friday night, he donned a baby blue choir robe as he led the rest of his band-mates on a stick-versus-carrot chase around the bar. His role in the band encompasses guitar, bass, vocals, banjo, piano and trumpet, just to name a few.

Jeff Holt was, well, asleep on the couch when I arrived. He seems to be quite an interesting, yet somewhat, well, inebriated person. From what I can gather, Jeff and Kris split the songwriting duties for JPO. Which is bizarre as there is still an even consistency, or balance, that is felt strung between the majority of their material. Jeff is also responsible for guitar, bass, vocals, accordion, glockenspiel, clarinet, and, well, you get the picture.

It was Josh Foreman's birthday. Josh plays drums. He's also a super-rad, laid-back kind of guy. That's pretty much all I gathered on Josh. However, he was the only one to tell me the truth (sort of) about the carrot as it is in relation to JPO.

The mule just follows the carrot, never realizing that he's stupidly doing the work he once resisted without any sort of reward.

There are no real answers to most of my questions. This is, I guess, in a sense, sort of a bullshit article. There's a basis, a reason, for doing things. But no real response. For instance:

ME...."What's the meaning behind your band name?"........ GRAYSON........"Check out clause 34 under the articles of the Prophet".........Jeff......"I was sworn to secrecy by the Prophet himself."

Do you see what I mean? I don't get to partake of the carrot either..........Example two:

ME..........."How did you guys all come to play together?"..........KRIS......."By carefully balancing our schedules."

Attempt number Three:

ME........"What is the basis, theme, derivative of your sound?"............Jeff......"I think we bring left field to the home plate and try to smack it out of the park."..........Kris........."Juan Prophet Organization is a music factory."

So, I think your're beginning to see the difficulty in classifying mysic by a group of people who, combined, are so radically insane (no offense, I really think they're are amazingly cool people, it's just, they're all out of their frickin' minds).

In a somewhat half-hearted way, I suppose I should inform you, the reader, of some musical titillations that are narrative of the Juan Prophet Organization. So, in another non-traditional manner, here are the facts:

1. JPO started four years ago this month.

2. There are four core members of the band (Grayson, Kris, Josh, and Jeff). However, there are always more players on the stage. More often than not, these participants are Matthew Crisafi and David Jellema.

3. When I first heard the band, they reminded me a lot of Mr. Bungle

4. The four core members are also all from Louisiana

So, in essence, it's all a mind game. Trying to get the carrot. The desire for the carrot. Never actually achieving that object. Being nullified, being content with just following it around. Stupidity. A mule. A carrot and a stick..